To Steal an Jet

To Steal an Jet is an episode of The Avenging Regular Show Unlimited.

Synopsis[]

While on a errand, Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova steal an jet.

Transcript[]

(This episode begins at Avengers Tower)
Mordecai: Oh hello, Sterling Archer, Lana Kane, Cyril Figgis, Cheryl Tunt, Pam Poovey, Dr. Algernop Krieger, Ray Gillette was this your new workplace called the Figgis Agency?
Sterling Archer: (On Computer) Why, yes, Mordecai it was.
Mordecai: Say what about all the office drones from ISIS?
Sterling Archer: (On Computer) Well, when all the office drones came to the Figgis Agency. So, they decide to get a job and join the agency.
Mordecai: Really?
Lana Kane: (On Computer) Yeah. They are.
Mordecai: Good. Because I shipped you guys some new weapons in a package for you.
Cyril Figgis: (On Computer) Hey. That's great, Mordecai.
Sterling Archer: (On Computer) Cyril, you may open a package.
Cyril Figgis: (On Computer) Thanks, Archer.
Sterling Archer: (On Computer) You're welcome. Go ahead. Knock yourself out.
Cyril Figgis: (On Computer) Okay.
(Cyril Figgis opens a package it is revealed to be the Lightsabers and Sonic Screwdrivers)
Pam Poovey: (On Computer) Holy shit snacks! What is this?
Mordecai: (On Computer) Lightsabers and the Sonic Screwdrivers.
Pam Poovey: (On Computer) Okay.
Ray Gillette: (On Computer) Why, did you gave us new weapons are the Lightsabers and Sonic Screwdrivers?
Mordecai: Because you guys are gonna become the next generation of the Jedi.
Cheryl Tunt: (On Computer) We can do that?!
Mordecai: Yeah.
Dr. Algernop Krieger: (On Computer) That might work. We can use it for anything.
Malory Archer: (On Computer) Why?
Dr. Algernop Krieger: (On Computer) When People all around the world has guns.
Malory Archer: (On Computer) Oh, right. Sorry.
Dr. Algernop Krieger: (On Computer) That's okay.
Sterling Archer: (On Computer) Well, we got a client waiting for us for something. Come on, everybody. (To Mordecai) Bye.
(Sterling Archer calls off)
Mordecai: Bye. (Sighs)
(Song: Hold On, I'm Comin')
Mordecai: ♪Don't you ever feel sad Lean on me when times are bad When the day comes and you're down In a river of trouble and about to drown Just hold on, I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming I'm on my way, your lover If you get cold, I will be your cover Don't have to worry, 'cause I'm here Don't have to suffer, baby, 'cause I'm here Just hold on, I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming Reach out to me for satisfaction Call my name for quick reaction Baby, baby, yeah Just hold on, 'cause I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming Just hold on, I'm coming Hold on, I'm coming Just hold on, I'm coming Just hold on, hold on♪
(Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova arrives)
Rigby: Hey, Mordecai, what's the matter?
Mordecai: Oh, hey, guys, I'm missed that blonde girl, Jeannie.
Spider-Man: It's okay, Mordecai, we all miss her. Come on. The others needs us.
Mordecai: Right.
Vision: Here.
Mordecai: Uh, what's this?
Vision: A market list. The Market two clicks to the south, and I'm sending you six on a supply run. Oh. [Laughs] Don't even think about without at least one rollinia. Clear?
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova: Clear.
Yellowjacket: How do you expect them to find rollinias on Market?
(At Market)
Black Panther: We got everything but the rollinias. Any luck?
Spider-Man: No. And We don't think they meant for us to have luck.
Black Panther: Well, someone has to be selling those things. Here, take this. I'll go find one.
Mordecai: Seriously? You want us to carry your supplies?
Black Panher: Yes!
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova: Rollinias!
Mordecai: How much for the whole crate?
Manager: I'm sorry. They're already sold.
Rigby: Well, maybe we can buy one from--
Manager: From Malekith? [Laughs] Yeah, good luck.
Nova: Why are you smiling about?
Mordecai: The obvious answer to our problem.
Rigby: Right. So what's the plan.
Spider-Man: Maybe. Sure. Why not?
Rigby: [Gasps] [Spits, Laughing] We should go.
Mordecai: You go. We're getting what we came for.
Nova: Wait, Mordo, Web-head-- [Groans]
Dark Elf: You there!
Spider-Man: We'll just put this back.
Nova: Run!
Malekith the Accursed: Stop them!
Black Panther: You made us lose the rest of the supplies! At least we're even.
Spider-Man: Even? Please. We had the whole situation under control.
Nova: [Groans] Come here!
Dark Elf: Where they go?
Nova: [Grunts] Whoa!
Dark Elf: Up there!
Spider-Man: Nova!
Nova: Just keep going. I'll catch up to you.
Dark Elf: Split up!
Pilot: [Gasps]
Nova: Oh. Hey, you don't have any rollinias, do you?
Pilot: There is nowhere to hide.
Dark Elf: Hands up!
Pilot: [Whimpers]
Nova: Never actually flown one of these before. Whoa!
Dark Elf: Look out!
Nova: [Laughing] Ha, ha, ha! Too bad Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier and Spider-Man wasn't here to see that. Whoa! [Laughs] Whew. On the other hand--
Mordecai: Great. Just what we need. Nova? Nova! Hey, Nova, let us in!
Nova: So now, I'd be saving your life, right?
Spider-Man: What? Yeah, sure. Yes! Whatever!
Nova: I let you in, we're even.
Mordecai: Fine!
Nova: You have to say it!
Spider-Man: All right, all right. We're even. Now let us in! [Shouts]
(Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova hops to the jet)
Nova: Don't crowd me. I'm flying here.
Spider-Man: You don't know how. Let us. Whoa!
Nova: Whoa!
Mordecai: Turn the ship!
Nova: Let go!
Mordecai: Turn the ship!
Nova: I'm trying! [Grunts] I can't see a thing!
Spider-Man: Gain altitude.
Nova: I know.
Spider-Man: Nova.
Nova: [Grunting]
Mordecai: We think we're too low.
Nova: How can you tell? Why don't you clean the window?
Black Panther: We need to turn. Turn!
Nova: [Grunts] How did you know?
Mordecai: Not sure. We just... knew.
Nova: [Chuckles] Good. That's-- That's good. [Sighs] Now get out there and clean the canopy.
(At Avengers Tower)
Yellowjacket: Have to admit, it's a lot more peaceful aboard with the kids gone.
Vision: Yeah, but we're feeling a bit guilty about feeling sending them--
Yellowjacket: [Chuckles] On a wild rollinia chase?
Nova: Nova to Vision.
Vision: Ah, right on cue. Go ahead, Nova.
Nova: Right. well, we've has a bit of a problem.
Vision: We thought you might. Look, don't worry about the rollinias.
Spider-Man: Yeah, rollinias. Uh, we found some. Then we found them again. But we smashed them.
Nova: Just cut to the chase, Web-head.
Yellowjacket: Wait! What are we hearing? It sounds like--
Mordecai: Yeah, about that. See, um-- well-- [quickly] We stole a jet.
Yellowjacket: YOU WHAT?!
Nova: He's taking it better than we thought.
Yellowjacket: Get rid of it!
All: Do we have to?
Yellowjacket: [Sighs] At least tell us you dismantled the locator beacon.
Nova: [Laughs] Of course. We're not fools. (whispering to Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier and Spider-Man) [Quietly] Under there. The red wire. No, wait. The blue.
Spider-Man: Well, which one?
Yellowjacket: [annoyed] It's the red and the blue.
Mordecai: Right. Got it. W-We mean... got it a long time ago. You know, back when we first boarded. Right away. Immediately.
Yellowjacket: Stealing a jet attracts unwanted attention. Rendezvous at Shadow Site 2 Fly straight there. Do not stop. And don't do anything.
Nova: On our way, Nova out.
Spider-Man: That went well.
Nova: Yeah.
Black Panther: Do you know which way we're supposed to go?
Nova: No idea. Okay. Navigation system's on line. Course set for rendezvous point.
Mordecai: Wait. What's that? Looks like smoke.
Nova: Yeah.
Spider-Man: Only... We think We know where it's coming from. Go check it out. Please.
Nova: [Sighs] There's a convo of troop transports heading northwest.
Rigby: Besides that.
Nova: Oh, boy. Here goes nothing. Attention, transports. This is Commander Rollinia.
Spider-Man: Rollinia? Seriously?
Nova: Shh. [Clears Throat] There's a report of intruder activity in your sector. Reduce speed.
Malekith the Accursed: Acknowledged, Commander. Reduce speed.
Nova: You sure?
Spider-Man: Just get us in close. [Grunts]
Malekith the Accursed: A jet? This is Malekith the Accursed My men reported a stolen jet.
Nova: That's not the jet you're looking for. It's a totally different jet. I sent it to, uh, seek out the heroes.
Malekith the Accursed: Commander, repeat your operating number.
Nova: [Imitating static] Sorry. Didn't catch that. But maintain current position.
Malekith the Accursed: All transports, resume speed. And man the cannon. You see that jet again, take your shot.
Nova: Don't think he's taking Commander Rollinia's orders anymore.
(Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier and Spider-Man release the prisoners)
Pilot: Sir, someone's unlocked the prisoners.
Malekith the Accursed: I want dark elves up top, now!
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier and Spider-Man: Whoa.
Pilot: Sir, the prisoners are escaping.
Malekith the Accursed: Open fire.
Nova: That gun turret's gonna be a problem. This bird has no shields.
Mordecai: Working on it. Well, hello, stranger.
Dark Elf: Maintain fire. His shots won't penetrate your armor. What the Aaah!
Rigby: Not bad.
Dark Elf: Gotcha.
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier and Spider-Man: Whoa.
Dark Elf: Wait! You did all this for fruit?
Spider-Man: No! Okay, maybe a little. There's gotta be something useful in here. A wrench? A wrench! All for fruit! [Gasps] Not bad, ace.
Nova: Gotcha!
Spider-Man: Uh, how are you flying this thing?
Nova: [Grunting]
Black Panther: Thanks for the save. Guess we owe you now.
Nova: Let's just say we're eternally even. Oh. You collect these, right?
Spider-Man: Yeah. So, what do we do about the jet? [Chuckling]
Nova: [Grunts]
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova: [Chuckling]
Yellowjacket: Ah, they should have been here by now.
Vision: Over there!
Nova: One fresh rollinia, as ordered.
Vision: Thank you, kind sir.
Nova: Team effort.
Yellowjacket: Forget about the fruit. Where's the jet?
Nova: [Sighs] We crashed it.
Spider-Man: On purpose. Uh, we didn't want it to fall back into the Malekith's hand.
Yellowjacket: That's what we like to hear.
Nova: [Sighs, chuckles]
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova: [Laughs]
Nova: [Sighs, chuckles]
Mordecai, Rigby, Black Panther, Winter Soldier, Spider-Man and Nova: [Grunts, laughing]
Vision: At least they got rid of the jet.
Yellowjacket: [Inhales, exhales]
Nova: Uh. [Sighs]
[End of To Steal an Jet]

To Steal an Jet

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